Post Mortem
by MissTuffcy
Summary: What's the point? Why survive? Why try? Isn't this the end? Shouldn't we just stop? Why do we continue even though hope doesn't seem to exist – that there will be no end to this suffering…we're the only ones left…the only ones…"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had," – Tears for Fears Yaoi, Death, Violence, Language (More Warnings inside)PA[[PostApocalyptic]]AU
1. Chapter 1

Story is based off and written to only Mad World Cover by Michael Andrews ft Gary Jules (original artist is Tears of Fears but I love the Gary & Michael arrangement of the music)

Summary: What's the point? Why survive? Why try? Isn't this the end? Shouldn't we just stop? Why do we continue even though hope doesn't seem to exist – that there will be no end to this suffering…we're the only ones left…the only ones…"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had," – Tears for Fears

Warning: Character Death, Gore, Language, Yaoi, Self-Mutilation, Violence, Oc, Oc love, Insanity, Dark Humor.

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_All around me are familiar faces_

A creak followed the whispered words. Followed by continued shuffling until a light cut on to reveal a white haired male walking around the small space – that could easily be identified as a tour bus. The white haired male shuffled towards the far back where a desk was set up. There were a bunch of pictures and papers strewn everywhere. The pictures were of various people in various scenes. Most of the pictures were of the white haired male and two other males who shared similar features as him.

_Worn out places, worn out faces_

The bus began to rock and the white haired male's gaze shifted to the window.

_Bright and early for their daily races,_

_Going nowhere, going nowhere,_

He whispered as he walked towards the window. Low hissing and growls could be heard as he continued to walk towards the window.

_Their tears are filling up their glasses,_

_No expression, no expression_

His gaze traveled across the many rotten faces that he could tell – from his spot – were surrounding the vehicle he was current in. Some of the faces were missing eyes, skin, and bits and pieces of flesh were hanging – or even missing. Black tears trailed down from their glazed over white eyes. The white haired male closed his eyes and turned away as they began to bang on the window, the rocking of the bus growing in intensity.

_Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow_

The white haired male walked back towards the dresser. He stared down at the pictures for a moment longer, the hissing and moaning from outside growing louder as the banging increased. The white haired male picked up one of the pictures – a picture of two other white haired males including himself. The larger of the two was standing behind them with a large grin on his face that mirrored the smaller of the three. The white haired male smiled slightly as a single tear trailed down from amber eyes. He turned his gaze to the closet next to the dresser. Walking towards it, he turned slightly when he heard banging starting at the door of the bus. He opened the closet and reached for the box at the top of the closet and pulled it down.

He made his way the few paces back to the dresser and sat the box on top. Opening the box, he pulled out a single thing from all of its contents: A silver gun.

_No tomorrow, no tomorrow_

He whispered as he pulled the gun up to the light. He smiled up at it as another tear escaped.

_And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad_

He walked towards the middle of the bus and sat down. The banging increased. He heard a crack and looked up to the front of the bus. The glass was beginning to break.

_The dreams in which I'm dying_

_Are the best I've ever had_

He whispered again. He clutched the picture in one hand and the gun in the other.

_I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take_

The white haired male pulled the gun up to his temple, choking on his next words.

_When people run in circles it's a very, very_

He whispered, cocking the gun. He closed his eyes, the moaning and hissing fading away into the back of his mind as memories flashed through his mind.

_Mad world_

**BANG!**

The gun dropped to the floor with a clatter.


	2. Chapter 2

I know I said this would be based off only Tears for Fear's song….but I found a song that was PERFECT for this story's theme. I owe it all to a friend of mines. Thanks! Together we found a perfect playlist for this story and its helped me a lot with getting ideas for the story – but I think its kidna given me too many ideas so there will be a few different versions of this story in the future, I'm sure.

Songs (Lyrics) in this chapter is: Mad World – Tears for Fears ; Down with the sickness – Disturbed ;

Summary: What's the point? Why survive? Why try? Isn't this the end? Shouldn't we just stop? Why do we continue even though hope doesn't seem to exist – that there will be no end to this suffering…we're the only ones left…the only ones…"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had," – Tears for Fears

Warning: Character Death, Gore, Language, Yaoi, Self-Mutilation, Violence, Oc, Oc love, Insanity, Dark Humor.

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_Can you feel that?_

_Ah, shit…_

Amber eyes cracked opened as he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He picked his head up from the window and blinked sleepily. He sat there for a minute watching the passing scenery through the window before he felt another tap on his shoulder. He turned his gaze towards the person tapping him and was greeted with a smile. "Breakfast is done, sleepyhead," The person said with a chuckle. A plate was sat in front of him and he stared down at it blankly. "Sessh…you okay?" Amber eyes rolled back to look at the person standing over him with a worried frown. The man standing over him had white hair – though his eyebrows were black – and brown eyes. "Sessh?"

0

Children waiting for the day they feel good  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday

_They were sitting outside on the porch in front of the two story house. "Someday, m'gonna be a rockstar!" The ravenette sitting on the steps said. There was a chorus of snorts._

"_You ain't gonna be no rockstar, Inuyasha! S'no way you can sing!" The ravenette leaning against the railing said._

"_Shut up, Miroku! I sure could sing!" Inuyasha shouted and stuck his tongue out. "Right, K'gome?"_

"_Ya! Inuyasha can sing! He can sing really good," The girl sitting next to Inuyasha exclaimed. "I heard him sing once!"_

"_He doesn't gotta know how to sing to be a rockstar. He can just start screaming and call it music," The brunette sitting on the porch swing snorted – Sango. "Right, Sessh?" She elbowed the ravenette sitting next to her._

"_Yeah," He said quietly. "But…Inuyasha could probably do it," He said looking at his brother. "Daddy says if you believe in something enough, it'll come true,"_

"_Yah! See even Sessh and our dad says so!"_

"_Yeah right," _

And I feel the way that every child should  
Sit and listen, sit and listen

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"Sessh?" Inuyasha shook the smaller. "Dad, Sessh is spacing out again," Inuyasha said with a frown. Inuyasha moved when his father walked towards him and sat down next to Sesshomaru.

"Sesshomaru," His deep voice rumbled lowly. Sesshomaru continued to stare at the plate in front of him until his father gently pulled his face to look at him. Sesshomaru stared at his father with blank pools of amber.

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_Sesshomaru's eyes cracked open when he heard muffled yelling. He sat up slowly and frowned at the door. He stood up and walked towards the door, pulling his blanket with him. He wrapped the thick quilted blanket around him as he slipped on his slippers and walked out the door. He walked towards the light coming up from downstairs and stood at the top of the landing. He walked down a couple of steps and sat down, leaning against the railing as he listened to the rising voices. "I just don't understand __**why**__!" A female voice yelled. "The bills are piling up! With both of us working, we're not going to be able to pay for __**anything**__!"_

"_What you're suggesting is not going to make matters any better!" The male voice shouted back._

"_It'll stop the incoming hospital bills! My god, Toga, the medication cost thousands of dollars a month! The other one is not helping much chasing a dream that will __**never**__ come true!"_

"_Don't give me this speech again!"_

"_Well it seems you're not getting this through your thick skull at all!"_

"_Tell me, then. What the fuck do you want me to do? You're not helping by screaming in my ear about shit I have no control over!" Toga boomed in a loud voice that made Sesshomaru flinch. Sesshomaru stood up and walked down the stairs. _

"_You want to know what I want you to do?" the woman asked in a low hiss. Sesshomaru made it to the bottom of the steps without making a noise. "Just let him die!" Sesshomaru paused and turned towards the living room. _

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing  
Broken your servant I kneel  
(Will you give in to me?)  
It seems what's left of my human side  
Is slowly changing in me  
(Will you give in to me?)

"_He's already dying! The medication is just postponing the inevitable! They only gave him 3 years to live! Why are you just making it harder on us for when his time does come?"_

"_How could you even – " Toga's voice was shaking with anger. Sesshomaru turned towards the front door just as the man began to speak again. "Get out," The man said in a low, threatening voice._

"_W-What?"_

"_I said get out! Pack up your shit and get the fuck out of this house! How could you even __**think**_ _I would let you kill my son?" Sesshomaru opened the front door silently and slipped out of the house. He closed the door behind him just as silently and sat down on the porch swing with his feet up. He wrapped the blanket around him and stared out at the dark street. Sometime later, he heard the voices inside the house pick up in volume. A dark colored sedan had pulled up in front of the house. The front door slammed open and Sesshomaru slowly brought his gaze to the woman standing there with a scowl on her face and a bag slung over her shoulder and two others with wheels dragging behind her._

"_I'm sick of you!" She shouted red in the face with anger. She began to stomp across the porch but stopped in front of Sesshomaru and frowned. She glared at him and Sesshomaru stared back at her with blank pools of gold. He tilted his head to the side slightly as the two stared at each other. She frowned at the boy's continued and unblinking stare at her. She shuddered uneasily._

Looking at my own reflection  
When suddenly it changes  
Violently it changes (oh no)  
There is no turning back now  
You've woken up the demon in me

"_How does it feel to know a man has chosen a dying being over you – someone he can spend the rest of his living days with?" Sesshomaru asked monotonously with the same blank expression. She frowned and turned away from Sesshomaru and stomped down the steps. Sesshomaru turned to see his father standing in the doorway with an angry scowl on his face._

"_Stupid bitch," He growled angrily. When the sedan finally pulled away, that's when he noticed Sesshomaru sitting there staring at him. His anger was immediately replaced with worry. "What are you doing out here in the cold?" _

"_I have a blanket," Sesshomaru said shortly. Toga frowned as he walked towards his son and sat down. _

"_How much of that did you hear?" Toga asked silently._

"_Most of it," Sesshomaru shrugged. He leaned against Toga. "Am I dying?"_

"_Sessh…"_

"_Tell me the truth,"_

"…" _Toga stared down at his son with a sadden expression. _

"_The silence speaks," Sesshomaru whispered lowly. Toga wrapped an arm around Sesshomaru and pressed his lips against his temple._

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_I'm not," Sesshomaru mumbled. A moment later he spoke again. "I don't want to die yet,"_

Get up, come on get down with the sickness

0

"_And I find it kinda funny  
I find it kinda sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
When people run in circles"_

Sesshomaru sung lowly. Toga frowned in confusion. "What?"

"Those are the last lyrics," Sesshomaru said, looking at Toga. "Finally finished the song," Sesshomaru stared at Toga with a small smile. Toga managed a smile.

"You're going to write it down for Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru nodded. "Finish your breakfast first, okay?" Again, Sesshomaru nodded. Toga stood up as he watched Sesshomaru turn towards his food and begin to eat.

"He's ok?" Inuyasha asked. Toga looked at him with a nod.

"He was just thinking, I guess. He said he finished the song for you," Toga said. Inuyasha nodded. A few hours later, the vehicle pulled to a stop.

"Well…here we are. _Costa Del Inuyasha_! Also home to the band," Inuyasha exclaimed as he jumped up from where had been sitting to float towards the front of the bus. Sesshomaru watched his father stand up and walk towards the front. He stood up as well but walked towards the back of the bus to pick up a white hood shawl – which looked more like a cape then a shawl. He slipped the light article of clothing over his head and tucked his white hair back into it before picking up a blue medical mask and placing it over his face. He walked towards the front of the bus.

* * *

"INUYAAASHAAA~!" Kagome squealed as she ran up to Inuyasha and tackled him. "Oh, I've missed you so much!" She said happily, pulling away from the chuckling man.

"Hey guys," He said as the rest of his friends walked up to him.

"So," Miroku smirked. "Hello, Mr. Taisho,"

"Just…Toga," Toga said with a frown.

"'Kay. Toga," Miroku smiled. "How have you and Sesshomaru been? We only ever hear from you guys from Inuyasha's letters and a few of the phone calls he lets us listen in on,"

"What? I don't let you listen to any – Miroku!" Inuyasha snapped and glared at him. Miroku grinned with a shrug.

"I'd like to take a soak and then a long nap," Toga grumbled as he glanced at Inuyasha. "Sleeping in a moving van is not very comfortable…" Inuyasha snickered.

"Tohara, can you show my dad to his room," Inuyasha asked the man now walking towards them. The man stopped and clucked his teeth.

"Yes sir," He turned and began to walk away.

"I'll bring the bags in dad,"

* * *

A few hours later found Inuyasha and his friends inside and sitting in the living room. Toga had retired for a nap and Sesshomaru was walking around the house taking in the view. He walked into the living room where Inuyasha was and the talking quiet down. "Hey Sessh," Sesshomaru turned his head slightly. "This is the band," He said, standing up to walk towards Sesshomaru. He grabbed the other's pale hand and walked into the middle of the room. "You already know Miroku," Inuyasha said with a smirk and pointed at the pony-tailed man. "He's our drummer," Inuyasha pointed at the man sitting next to Miroku. "That's Koga, our bassist," He pointed at the blue haired man who had his arms spread out on the couch across from Miroku and Koga. "And that's Kai, our guitarist," Kai grinned and did a two fingered salute.

"So you're the brains behind the idiot, huh?" Koga asked. Inuyasha glared at him.

"Your lyrics are bomb," Kai spoke up from his spot. He stood up and Inuyasha glared at him. Kai stuck his hand out. "Nice to meet the one writing such beautifying words," Sesshomaru stared down at Kai's hand. He slowly brought his gaze up to meet Kai's own ambers. Kai's grin faltered as Sesshomaru stared at him unblinkingly. He let go of Inuyasha's hand and walked passed Kai. Everyone snickered. Kai pouted and crossed his arms. "Ass," Inuyasha punched him in the arm with a glare before turning his gaze back to Sesshomaru.

"Hey, Sessh. Kags and us were going out. D'ya wanna come with?" A nod was his reply.

* * *

_I cut this short because I don't really want to have more than 2 songs in a chapter because then everyone including myself would get confused. Don't worry; the next chapter will be up soon._

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	3. Chapter 3

This is not going to be a song-fic even though it seems like it's turning into one….Writing lyrics in the middle of the story is not only tedious to _read_ – I see – but also to _write. _So no more random lyrics!

Songs: Sickened – Disturbed

Summary: What's the point? Why survive? Why try? Isn't this the end? Shouldn't we just stop? Why do we continue even though hope doesn't seem to exist – that there will be no end to this suffering…we're the only ones left…the only ones…"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had," – Tears for Fears

Warning: Character Death, Gore, Language, Yaoi, Self-Mutilation, Violence, Oc, Oc love, Insanity, Dark Humor.

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Silently, Sesshomaru made his way around the house. It wasn't what he was used to. He was used to their old 2 story house: The small kitchen with the dinner table in the middle of the room, a living room across from that, a foyer separating the two with the stairs against the wall near the kitchen door; Up the stairs being the 3 bedrooms: Sesshomaru's, Toga's, and Inuyasha. Even after all the years Inuyasha had been gone out of their lives, his room had remained untouched – well up until the accident of course – _or was it an accident? _Sesshomaru stared up at the wall that was littered with photos, awards, and random pieces of art. He was standing in the foyer, currently. He had gone through the kitchen – which was rather large – and the dining room, the upstairs, all the bathrooms, and the garden out back.

"Hey," Sesshomaru turned slightly to see one of Inuyasha's band mates leaning against the doorframe. It was that Koga fellow. Sesshomaru turned away from him to stare at the picture directly in front of him. It was an old picture of Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, and their father. Toga had an arm slung over both Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's shoulders. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were both holding a large fish between them and they all had a huge grin on their faces. "Who is older? You or Inuyasha?"

Sesshomaru turned his head slightly to see Koga had walked closer. "Inuyasha is 5 minutes younger," Sesshomaru answered before turning back to stare at the picture.

"Really? But you look younger than him." Koga said. "And prettier," Koga grinned.

"You haven't seen my face," Sesshomaru said evenly. He turned to look up at Koga.

"Why do you wear the mask anyway?" Koga asked.

"It lessens the temptation of wanting to eat people's faces off," Sesshomaru said blankly, staring into Koga's eyes unblinkingly. Koga froze. His grin slowly disappeared from his face.

"You're…joking…right?"

"I do not make jokes," Sesshomaru said before walking passed Koga's shocked stunned form. Koga looked up when he heard someone walking down the steps.

"Dude, your brother is creepy as fuck! And I don't mean the good kind of creepy either!" Koga hissed lowly. Inuyasha frowned at him.

"Don't trash talk my bro, Koga," Inuyasha growled. He walked passed Koga. "Sessh!"

"Yes?" Inuyasha stopped in the doorway to the living room to see Sesshomaru staring at a picture on the mantle.

"Ready to go?" Sesshomaru turned and walked passed Inuyasha. "I'll take that as a yes,"

* * *

They were walking through the town's busy shopping district. Inuyasha, surrounded by his chattering friends and band mates, had Sesshomaru's hand held in his and had an arm wrapped around Kagome's waist. From time to time he'd glance at his silent brother. "Having fun?" Sesshomaru looked at the man who had spoken. It was that Kai person Inuyasha had said was his guitarist.

"No," Sesshomaru said shortly before continuing to look around as they walked. Kai frowned and looked at Inuyasha with a raised eyebrow.

"Let's actually go inside a shop instead of walking around doing nothing," Kagome suggested.

"Smart," Koga clucked his tongue. Sesshomaru stopped walking and pointed to a shop that said _'Arachnid' _

"That one," Sesshomaru said.

"Oh no, not that one," Inuyasha said as he tugged on Sesshomaru's hand.

"Why?" Sesshomaru looked at Inuyasha blankly.

"The guy who owns that store is a big douche," Koga snorted.

"…." Sesshomaru turned back to look at the store as they walked passed it. They, instead, walked to a store called "Velvet". "Why?" Sesshomaru asked as they walked through the brightly lit store.

"The store has the cutest outfits!" Kagome squealed. She moved away from Inuyasha to walk farther into the store. "Come, come! I want to pick out clothes for you, Sesshomaru!" They all followed after Kagome as she walked from aisle to aisle. "Look at this shirt!" She pulled it from the rack and held it out. It was a red short sleeved shirt with long sleeves under it that were red and white strips. "Try it on Sesshy!"

"No," Sesshomaru said. "My name is Sesshomaru." Kagome frowned as she looked from Sesshomaru to Inuyasha.

"C'mon, Sessh. Try on the shirt,"

"No," Sesshomaru slipped his hand from Inuyasha's and crossed his arms. Inuyasha sighed.

"Alright, fine," Inuyasha waved at hand at Kagome, who pouted.

"Awe…" She put the shirt back. She squealed a moment later. "Looky! This dress is so cute!" She sprinted across the store with Sango on her heels. Inuyasha and the others, save Sesshomaru, groaned and followed after them.

"Kagome's eyesight for things _fluffy _and _cute _is too good," Koga mumbled. The others agreed. Sesshomaru, with his arms still crossed, watched as they walked after Kagome and Sango. He dropped his arms to his side and turned to walk the opposite way the others were walking.

* * *

Sesshomaru pushed the door open to Arachnid. He looked around the dimly lit store. Much of the merchandise in the store was black, purple, red or shades and blends of the three. Music played lowly in the background. Sesshomaru turned his head slightly when he heard someone singing along with the music:

"_Sickened from wanting you _

_Frightened of finding the truth_

_Don't say anymore_

_Now my mind isn't changing_

_This reckoning's long overdue,"_

Sesshomaru silently watched the man who had sung the lyrics walk towards a nearly empty rack carrying a box. He continued to hum to the song as he pulled things out of the box to put on the rack in front of him. Sesshomaru moved out of the doorway and let the door close which gained the attention of the humming ravenette. The man looked up at Sesshomaru, his glittery reddish brown eyes lightening up with interest. "Hello there, welcome to Arachnid," Sesshomaru nodded at him before walking towards the other side of the store.

Some time passed before the shopkeeper spoke up again. "Is there anything in particular you were looking for?" Sesshomaru looked up and over at the man who now stood behind the counter where the cash register was, rearranging the accessories on the stand sitting on the counter. Sesshomaru walked over to him and stared at the accessories. There were a bunch of necklaces, earrings, tongue rings, earplugs, and more hanging from the stand – all with some type of spider shape on them.

"Are you the owner of the shop?" Sesshomaru asked quietly as he fingered a necklace with a ruby encrusted spider.

"Yup! Name's Naraku," The man said. Sesshomaru looked up to see the man grinning. "Haven't seen you around, you new to town?" Sesshomaru nodded before returning his gaze back to the spider necklace. "Hm…I think I might have something that'd interest you," Sesshomaru turned back to Naraku in time to see the man duck down behind the counter. Sesshomaru leaned forward to see what he was doing just as Naraku popped back up and sat a flat box on the counter. "I wasn't sure if I'd have room for these….not many people come in to buy them because they're not…eh…cute?" He chuckled. Sesshomaru reached out and grabbed one of the black pieces of cloth. They were face masks. The one he had picked up had a red spider on the front of it. He dug around the box for awhile before he pulled a white one out that had a black spider on it. Sesshomaru slowly looked up at Naraku blankly. Naraku grinned. "Yeah…I know….I really took the whole _arachnid _theme to heart," He chuckled. Sesshomaru said nothing and looked back down at the two pieces of cloth he had pulled out "Do you want to try them on?" Sesshomaru nodded silently. Naraku disappeared behind the counter again as Sesshomaru pulled the medical mask from his face. Naraku reappeared with a mirror and froze, his mouth slightly a gap.

Sesshomaru replaced the medical mask with the white cloth with the black spider on it. He took the mirror from Naraku and looked at himself with it. He looked up at Naraku, who had been silent the whole time. "You're drooling," Sesshomaru stated before he replaced the white one with the black one to look at himself in the mirror again. Naraku snapped his mouth closed and dabbed at his mouth, cheeks tinted pink.

"Eh….May I ask you a question? Two actually," Naraku asked. Sesshomaru looked up at Naraku. " My first is: what is your name?"

"Sesshomaru," was the short reply as Sesshomaru replaced the black cloth with the medical mask.

"My second question is: why do you hide your face? You're _really _beautiful!"

"It lessens the urge to eat people's faces off," Sesshomaru responded without pause. Naraku paused. He stared at Sesshomaru while Sesshomaru stared back. His face slowly split into a grin.

"Charming," Naraku chuckled. Sesshomaru shrugged. "I don't mean to be so bold but, I would love to get to know you," Naraku's grin widened. "You're beautiful and your sense of humor matches mines perfectly,"

"I was not joking," Sesshomaru said blankly. Naraku snickered again.

"Okay, you weren't…but I still want to get to know you better," Naraku smiled. Sesshomaru shrugged. "Got a number?"

"A…number?" Sesshomaru asked slowly.

"Ya, a cell phone number?" Naraku asked.

"I don't have one," Sesshomaru said, shaking his head.

"Home phone?" Naraku asked with a frown.

"I don't know it," Sesshomaru said, shaking his head. Naraku pouted for a moment.

"How about I give you my number and you call me? Then I'd have your number as well!" Naraku grinned.

"Okay," Sesshomaru said with a shrug. Naraku grinned. He disappeared behind the counter just as the door opened and closed.

"There you are!" Sesshomaru turned to see Inuyasha, flushed in the face, ran up to him. "Goddamnit, Sessh, you scared the shit out of me!" Naraku appeared with a pen and paper and frowned at Inuyasha. "I told you not to come here, Sessh," Inuyasha's voice softened. He glared heatedly at Naraku.

"Why?" Sesshomaru asked. He turned from Inuyasha and picked up the white and black clothes. "I want these,"

"We'll buy them from somewhere else," Inuyasha said as he gently took the two face masks and placed them back on the counter.

"Why? We're already here," Sesshomaru said. Inuyasha gave a long exhale.

"I told you already, Sessh,"

"I want these," Sesshomaru picked the two up again and held them out to Inuyasha. "Buy them." His voice left no room for argument as he stared at Inuyasha, a twinkle of annoyance flashing through his otherwise blank pools of amber.

"But Sessh-"

"I don't care," Sesshomaru said shortly. Inuyasha growled and reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He took out his card and glared at Naraku.

"How much?"

"40," Naraku answered to which Inuyasha mumbled something along the lines of '_bastard' _and '_rip off'. _Naraku ringed the two face masks up and Inuyasha paid for them.

"Now, come on," Inuyasha grabbed Sesshomaru's wrist. "We're going home," Sesshomaru tugged away from Inuyasha and looked at Naraku.

"Wait," Sesshomaru said shortly. Inuyasha crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

"For _what_?" Inuyasha hissed. Naraku glanced at Sesshomaru.

"Your number," Sesshomaru pointed at the pen and paper. Inuyasha stiffened. He grabbed Sesshomaru's wrist and pulled him towards the exit.

"_No!" _He growled angrily. He heard and chuckle and turned to glare at Naraku who did a short wave.

"Thank you for your purchases. Come again," He smirked. Inuyasha _flipped him the bird_ (1) and left the store.

* * *

_(1)I don't know how common the phrase is in other parts of the world but this phrases "Flipping the bird" means sticking up your middle finger at someone: in other words saying without words "Fuck you"._

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	4. Chapter 4

Song: A Place For My Head – Linkin Park; Indestructible – Disturbed

Summary: What's the point? Why survive? Why try? Isn't this the end? Shouldn't we just stop? Why do we continue even though hope doesn't seem to exist – that there will be no end to this suffering…we're the only ones left…the only ones…"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had," – Tears for Fears

Warning: Character Death, Gore, Language, Yaoi, Self-Mutilation, Violence, Oc, Oc love, Insanity, Dark Humor.

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Sesshomaru pushed the door open to the bedroom that bulter had said his father retired to. He leaned against the doorframe and stared at his father's still form. Pushing away from the doorway, he made his way farther in the room, closing the door behind him. He stood next to the bed, staring down at his father. The man was laying on his side, snoring lightly.

"_Do you think about_

_Everything you've been through?"_

Sesshomaru whispered lowly. He brushed his father's bangs from his face. He walked around the bed.

"_You've never thought you'd be so depressed_

_Are you wondering,"_

Sesshomaru sat down on the edge of the bed and stared out the window. He pulled off the medical mask he was wearing and placed it on the bedside table.

"_Is it life or death?_

_Do you think that there's no one like you?"_

Sesshomaru lay down on the bed and scouted back until his back was against his father's. He closed his eyes slowly. "_The_ _life_ _I_ _think_ _about_, _is_ _so_ _much_ _better_ _than this…"_ Sesshomaru trailed off as he fell into slumber.

* * *

"_What do you mean?" The voices were muddled and seemed to blend with each other as they yelled back and forth. Fading amber eyes slowly blinked to adjust to their surroundings. "There has to be something to do to-"_

"_There is _nothing _Mr. Taisho," A deep firm voice snapped. "I've given you all the options and you're already struggling to keep up with the payments of medicine. I suggest you just take him home and allow him to pass in th-"_

"_I will not," Toga grounded out. "I refuse to let him die!"_

"_Dad?" Sesshomaru whispered hoarsely. Toga immediately appeared in Sesshomaru's line of vision after the call._

"_I'm here, Sessh," Toga said. He grabbed one of Sesshomaru's pale hands and leaned down to press his lips to his temple._

"_Well…there is something we've been meaning to tell you," The doctor mumbled. "We believe the reason for his sickness…..doctors…."_

"_What?" Toga shouted. Sesshomaru blinked slowly. What had the doctor said? "You mean to tell me….all this time….you….son of a….." Sesshomaru's eyes closed as the yelling of his father became muffled._

* * *

_Sesshomaru silently watched Inuyasha shove things in a bag. "Where are you going Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru asked. Inuyasha paused and looked at Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru was leaning against the doorframe with a heavy quilt wrapped around him. He looked exhausted, so much – in fact – it looked like he would fall over any minute._

"_None of your business," Inuyasha finally responded, returning his attention back to what he was doing. Sesshomaru walked all the way into the room and sat down on Inuyasha's bed._

"_Why are you packing? Are you going to Miroku's house?" Sesshomaru asked. Inuyasha didn't respond. A few more moments of silence passed as Sesshomaru watched Inuyasha continue to pack. "Inuyasha?" It was when Inuyasha began to pack up his CD and record collection that Sesshomaru began to worry. "What are you doing? Are you selling your records?"_

"_No," Inuyasha bit out. _

"_What are you doing then?" Sesshomaru asked._

"_I said none of your business!" Inuyasha snapped. He turned to glare at Sesshomaru. "Now why don't you go to your room and curl up and die already! Maybe then Dad will pay more attention to, huh?" Inuyasha turned from Sesshomaru at the surprised look he received._

"…_You want me to?" Sesshomaru asked silently._

"_UGH! Just go away, Sessh! I really don't want to see you right now. I'm leaving. It's not like I'm going to be able to do what I wanna do if I stay here with you and dad anyway. With you killing every single dollar that's brought into the house – including all the money I had saved up just to attend the collage I wanted. Just- just die already and spare everyone's pockets! God, I hate you!" Inuyasha growled. He turned back to packing. It was silent after that and Inuyasha sighed. He felt a bit guilty for snapping at his brother like that. It wasn't his fault he was sick. "Sessh – " Inuyasha had turned around to apologize but Sesshomaru was gone. He frowned._

* * *

"_Shit…." Toga cursed lowly as he cut his hand as he was reaching for something behind all the junk in the basement. Sesshomaru was silent as he watched his father squeeze his hand to let blood drip on the concrete of the basement. Toga looked up at Sesshomaru, who sat on the stairs, and motioned with his hand for him to go upstairs. Sesshomaru stood and walked back to the ground level and glanced over his shoulder as his father followed. His father had a large red container in his hand. "You have everything you want, Sessh?" Sesshomaru nodded. "Come," He said as he walked up the stairs. He watched as his father walked passed him and towards his [Sesshomaru's] room. He tilted his head to the side slightly as Toga beckoned him to follow. When Sesshomaru reached his room, his father was standing there with a pair of scissors. "Come here," Sesshomaru nodded and walked forward. His father turned him around. He felt pulling at his hair and then the feeling stopped. He turned and looked at his father who was holding a chuck of his hair._

_He placed his hand on the top of his head. "Don't worry, I didn't cut really short. It's to your waist," Toga said. Sesshomaru nodded. He watched as his father placed the hair on his [Sesshomaru's] pillow. He then walked out the room with Sesshomaru following behind him._

"_Can we just talk about this?" A pleading voice sounded from the corner of the room. Sesshomaru turned to see the doctor who had come to check up on Sesshomaru's condition. He was ignored by Toga as the man took a hold of his own hair and cut a good sized chuck of it. He placed it on the bed. He turned to regard the doctor."Please, I won't say a word to anyone!"_

"_I know you won't," Toga mumbled. He leaned down slightly to open the bed side table to pull out a 22mm handgun. The doctor's face paled as Toga cocked the gun. He walked towards the doctor and untied him. He handed the red container to him and his eyes narrowed. Toga looked at Sesshomaru. "Go wait outside," Sesshomaru nodded and left the room._

_0_

_Sesshomaru stared at the burning house, the walls of fire seemingly reaching out towards him. He looked up at his father with a blank stare. Toga glanced down at him with a small smile. "Don't worry," He said simply. Sesshomaru stared back at the house and leaned against Toga. Toga wrapped an arm around his son and looked at the doctor standing next to him. "Where's your car?"_

* * *

Sesshomaru's eyes fluttered open as he felt himself being shaken. "Sesshomaru," He heard his name being whispered frantically. He rolled over and looked up at his worried father. His father's features slowly relaxed. "Are you hungry?" He asked. Sesshomaru slowly sat up then nodded. "Okay, come on," Toga stood and Sesshomaru followed him out of the room. He stopped before walking all the way out the room and glanced back into the room. Toga stopped and turned to watch Sesshomaru walk back into the room. Sesshomaru walked back out with a white face mask on with a spider on it. "Where did you get that from?"

"Inuyasha bought it for me from Arachnid. Can we go there again?" Sesshomaru stared up at his father. Toga smiled down at him.

"Of course, Sesshomaru,"


	5. Chapter 5

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